I Just Called

to say, “I love you!” No idea why I said that.

Watched “Nip/Tuck” for the first time tonight. Watched it with my mom. She thought it was full of nothing but depravity. I kind of enjoyed it. She likened it to a porn film. I said, “Welcome to cable TV.”

Things have become slightly more interesting. I have an audition for a commercial tomorrow. That should be nerve racking. I have two Halloween parties this Saturday with a new male friend I met at a gathering of like-minded folks in the big city. I bought a pumpkin that I plan to perform surgery on. I’m seeing a musical with my mom on Friday. I have an appointment with a recruiter on Tuesday. I met a cute, young guy who judged me in a karaoke contest in which I came in third out of four because the key was way wrong and they couldn’t change it so I was terrible. And I have a date next week with a guy from an online dating site.

You people know way too much about me.

My mom cleaned out her closet and found legwarmers, which she bequeathed to me. Inspired, I decided to dress up as Olivia Newton-John from her “Let’s Get Physical” video. For Halloween, that is.

Low-fat Diet?

My mom thinks she’s on a low-fat diet. When the subject of cholesterol comes up with friends and she divulges her 230+ level, the friends invariably ask, “Are you on a low-cholesterol diet?”

“Perpetually,” she’ll say.

NEWS FLASH: Mom, you’re not on a low-cholesterol diet!!! Eating red meat 5-7 days a week (sometimes twice a day!) in conjunction with daily ice cream, cheese and unbridled use of “low-fat” margarine is not, I repeat, is NOT a low-fat diet!!! Hell-o!!!

She says the margarine is made of yogurt, so it’s OK. I say, it’s still full of fat. It’s 5g of fat per tablespoon, for crying out loud!

I haven’t told her she’s on nothing resembling a low-fat diet, because I will be wasting my breath. She tells her doctor she’s on a low-fat diet. I guess she really thinks she is. I don’t even know how to broach the subject. I know nothing I say will change her mind. It’s frustrating! Doesn’t everyone know that when you have high cholesterol, you have red meat no more than twice a week, and that’s even pushing it? Doesn’t everyone know that you use fats and oils sparingly? Even if you don’t have high cholesterol you should do that. Doesn’t everyone know that you eat lots of fish, poultry, legumes and whole grains? I’m appalled. And this is the kicker: She can’t take cholesterol-lowering drugs because of the side effects. Oy!!! She does eat lots of fruit and veggies; I’ll give her that.

Not only does she eat a red meat-based diet and skip the meds, she’s gained a lot of weight around her middle in the last few years — the worst place to carry extra weight due to its ill effects on the heart.

This is a smart person I’m talking about. She’s not ignorant. She’s very intelligent and educated. I think maybe this has to do with feeling entitled to eat whatever she pleases, because life’s short and you should enjoy it!??? I’m guessing.

What should I do?!!

Up Too Late

It’s 1:15 a.m. and that is way too late for me to be up. I’ve been husband hunting on a certain dating site. And blogging. “If you could read my blog, love, what a tale my thoughts could tell. Just like a paperback novel; the kind that the drugstores sell.” Remember that song by Gordon Lightfoot? Except it was “read my mind.” Must… go… to… bed….

What I Did Today

Today I took a trip to the nearest big city with my neighbor’s sister, sister-in-law, ex-wife, and another neighbor. It was really fun. I don’t usually hang out with groups of women because most of my friends are men, so I was curious to see what they/we would talk about. It was very interesting. On the way there (45-min. trip), they talked about childbirth. Then about raising kids. On the way back, we talked about personal finance and then death, including suicide and terminal illness. In between car trips, we shopped a lot and were treated to a delicious lunch by the birthday girl! I wish they were my family! I’m not usually that comfortable with people I’ve just met, but I was with them.

I’m trying to remember what I usually talk about with my guy friends… None of them has kids or is married, so none of that ever came up. I’ll get back to you on this one. I left all my friends in California. Nighty night!

Raining Cats and Dogs

It’s been raining here for like a week straight, and there’s no sign of it stopping. I think tomorrow I will buy one of those light boxes. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, I believe. I was really down yesterday, but am better today. Not that there was a lick of sunshine or anything. God, what have I done? I lived in a place where the sun shone every day and year-round it was 72 degrees. Oh, stop complaining, ST! Well, what can I say? It’s culture shock in every way.

On the bright side, we went to Pioneer Day at the fairgrounds yesterday. They had canjos for sale (a homemade banjo made with a stick of wood, one string and an empty Spam can), classic cars with signs in the windows that read, “Unless you’re NUDE, don’t touch this car!”, and a painted horse (literally) and an “Indian.” Oh, sorry, Native Americans for you politically correct types. Hell, he could have been a real Indian. I didn’t get close enough to tell.

I was going to go back and take pictures, but I didn’t feel like it. This is what I love about being here: canjos, good ole’ boys, senior square dancers in matching outfits, antique tractors. I love all that. I love quilts and arts and crafts shows, homemade jams and jellies. I love everything about the country. I don’t think I could live here though. Not enough to do. Maybe if I had a job. Eh, I doubt it.

You’d never think this, but people here are damn good singers. I go to karaoke and I’m like the worst singer there. It’s humbling. And effin’ annoying. I decided I’m gonna keep going to karaoke until I get good at it. One of these days I’m gonna knock ‘em dead!

Meditations on Social Media

I think I’m over Facebook. Well, what I mean is, I’m not obsessed with it anymore. I still check it daily. I love the quizzes. I kick ass on the quizzes, and I complete them faster than most. It is a fun, easy way to keep in touch, nurture new friendships, and reconnect. It’s a total time suck though. Or it used to be… I’m totally over MySpace. It’s so 2005. I don’t even like logging in, but I feel guilty if I don’t, especially when I get an email stating that so-and-so wants to be friends. When I go into MySpace, I feel like I’m entering ancient ruins. I feel claustrophobic there. I hate the interface, the colors, everything about it. I wonder what the next new thing will be… I still love YouTube, although it was much better when less people were on it, like around two years ago and it was less corporate. Corporations ruin everything! They take a good thing and they ruin it. The featured videos on the home page were great. It was so fun to log in every day and see what was up there. It was simple and uncluttered. Inviting. Exciting. Fun. And you could upload a vid response to the most popular vids and get thousands of views on your vid. It seems like most vids won’t let you do that anymore. Too bad. LinkedIn is pretty great. Never got the hang of Flickr. I have some great photos on there somewhere. Ah, so much sharing. So little time.

A Letter Home

Dear Friends,

It’s very relaxing (boring) at my mom’s. She’s awesome (annoying), and she cooks for me (processed meat, decaf) and washes my car (control freak).

But seriously, it is beautiful here and my mom does do nice things for me. Miss you!

Love,
Songtruth

Lonely in the South

I’m in the middle of nowhere, staying with my mom till I find a job. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m bored. I’m lonely. I have no job, no money, no friends, nowhere to go and nothing to do. I should join meetup.com or something. I think the closest group I saw was like 25 miles away. What have I done? Oh, Lord, what have I done? I miss my friends in Cali. I miss my job. I miss having things to do and interesting places to go. I miss having people around who understand me! I miss good coffee and actual meat. I’ve had enough white bread. Where are my flourless bread and organic milk? I think my womanly parts are growing from the hormones in the milk!!! Where is my Arclight? Where are my pretentious hipsters, Buddhist wannabes, movie stars, sun, ocean, Thai food, Trader Joe’s? Where, where, where? Never thought I’d say this, but I miss you, L.A.

Forlorn in the backwoods,
Songtruth

Blog Neglect

I’m sorry I’m neglecting this blog. I’m lazy about writing regularly. Thanks for checking it out!

Facebook

I love Facebook now. I just read in a past post that I hated it. My, how times change.